i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
