but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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