im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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