I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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