Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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