I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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