So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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