I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
