That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
