So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
