so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
