if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
