You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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