She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
