i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
