We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
