I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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