her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
