Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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