Tell her she can't have a vagina
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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