I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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