i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
