from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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