that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
