last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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