i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
