Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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