He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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