That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
