THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
