I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
