we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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