no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
