Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
smell my finger.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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