Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
