Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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