piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The air was thick with penises
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
