Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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