The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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