Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
