maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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