craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
