i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
