You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
