i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
it glows. i had to have it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
