Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
