She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
