you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
