Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
