I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
