Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
