Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
