I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
