for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
