i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
