Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
