You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
