just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
