Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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