K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
