bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
