He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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