# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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