Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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