Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
