I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
