I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
