Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
